Me and the Kateri Idol - how I got to Kali Temple

I am very happy to say that the very first Temple I went to was a Kali Temple in Queens NY, this Kali Temple has also remained my favorite temple of all time and is likely the Temple I've visited most in my Hindu Quest.  Many of my Hindu friends found it very odd that I ended up in Kali's realm so quickly seeing that even in Hinduism Kali is a rather controversial god.  I didn't plan it out, but the way I was brought to Kali was simply divine. 

I first came across Hinduism on my college campus, a Hindu student's group, and I immediately became enamored with my new religion.  After years of searching and feeling nothing but pain, hate, despair and misery, the moment I came across the student group everything changed.  I remember my experience when I first walked through the door, I cannot explain what happened but the air just immediate cleared, everything became more vivid, the eternal sootiness of life seemed to rush away for a moment, it was an intense experience which triggered my internal motions.

The first lectures I attended on Hinduism took place in early spring, right before our festival of Vasant (Spring) Navaratri. Navaratri literally means "night nights" and is dedicated to the nine forms of the warrior goddess Durga. the Nava Durga. The Caribbean Hindu pundit who gave us our lectures explained the significance of this spring festival which is repeated again in summer, fall and winter. We worship Durga during the change of season to give us the mentality to ward of the sicknesses and stresses that are common during this time.  While we do worship a different version of goddess Durga every night of Navaratri, the nine nights are broken up into three nights each where we focus on one specific goddess to help us get through out troubles. 

The first three nights are dedicated to Kali (or Durga), we are to focus on battling our sicknesses, our weaknesses, our illusions and confusions, we must wipe away the old season to be ready for growth in the new season.  The next three nights are dedicated to goddess Lakshim (wealth), we have gotten rid of our internal struggles and we can now acquire wealth and pleasure in a healthy fashion. The final three nights are dedicated to Saraswati (wisdom) where we can contemplate the deeper meaning of Navaratri, the goddesses of the festival, our lives and the cosmos.  I learned this lesson just before the first night of Spring Navaratri in 2012. I officially converted to Hinduism on the first night of Navaratri, the first night of Kali, I took up a vegan fast for the nine days to prove my dedication.  I also just so happened to attend a college South Asian event that evening, though it had nothing to do with Hinduism. 

During this Navratri period I not only researched the three major goddess, but also the nine forms of Durga worshiped during this time.  I will go into all of the nine goddesses at some other time, but there was one form of Durga who was about to enter my life, likely the only goddess who would have taken me up at this time, Kateri.  At this time my understanding of Navaratri was still vague, and I could not remember the nine forms of Durga, but I must have learned about the 6th Durga, Kateri.

As time went by I became more active in the student group on my college campus.  To advertise our club we had "tabling events" where we would put out literature and project Hindu themed movies on a screen.  In order to engage the student body further, we decided to try to set up a mini Temple during out table events with idols to show the world our assertive Hindu identity.  Queens, New York has perhaps the most dense Hindu population in America, their could literally be more than a thousand small temples and  plenty of "puja shops" where one can buy idols, decorative pieces, offering materials and books.  The cross section of Liberty and Lefferts Avenue is known as "Little Guyana" and is perhaps the American center of Caribbean Hinduism. 

At the time their was a special Puja shop here called "Pantajalis" or "Pretanjalis" or something close to this, on Liberty Ave a few blocks away from Lefferts. Of all the Puja shops in the areas this was my favorite, they carried many esoteric Hindu books and some very unique Hindu idols which I have never seen anywhere else.  Even though our student club wanted to start building a small Temple for the public to see, we did not yet have any money or place to store our items as we were too small to have our own club room.  I had become extremely dedicated to Hinduism and so decided to simply purchase an idol myself and donate it to the club.  

I went to Pretanjalis and started looking around, depending upon which festival was upcoming the idols would have different prices.  However, I noticed one idol that was extremely low priced, so low priced it was odd.  In the back corner of the store, centered on a platform as if she were already in her temple, but covered in clear plastic, I found an idol of a woman, light skinned, with pitch black hair and eyes, and a pitch black dress, in her hand she held a trident and she leaned up against a lion.  I had never seen a Hindu idol all dressed in black before, they are usually very colorful.  Usually an idol of her size and quality would cost between 20 and 30 dollars, but this idol was only $2, why was she so inexpensive?  As I was looking the clerk came up behind me and asked if I wanted her, he said she was so inexpensive because her festival had just passed... I would realize later this was not a lie but not fully the truth as to why she was so inexpensive.  I thought about her dark appearance and if this would be a good image to put up during our tabling events, but something inside me said to take her and I did. 

The next day or so I brought her to our next tabling event, I was apprehensive that the others might be concerned about her dark looks... I didn't even know who she was.  When I took her out and told everyone I got her for only $2, they were all very surprised, but no one seemed too worried about putting her out to the public.  One of the girls at the club knew who she was, and explained everything to me, and why she was so inexpensive.  Here was Kateri, the 6th Durga, the Durga we worship on the 6th night of Navaratri. It is very hard to find Kateri's legends in scriptures, but her folklore is very well known.  She is known as the "smallest Durga", she is the one who can take a small shape to enter your body when you are very sick and expel it.  Because Kateri is a healer, one who can be around sickness, she can also appear in places where the gods will usually be absent, she can be called upon even when there is meat and alcohol present, she can be called upon even in the lowest of places to help. 

But why was this 6th Durga so inexpensive?  Kateri mother I found out also has somewhat of an undeserved bad reputation in Hinduism.  Because she can enter sick places, and places where there is wickedness, many people who practice black magic or want to do evil will call upon her to gain power. She is a goddess who can easily be misused as she will appear even before the fallen. Due to her misuse by black magicians, many Hindus have learned to fear Kateri, and even though there are statues of her present during Navaratri festival, she is often not spoken of.  Kateri was so inexpensive because few would ever buy her.  But wouldn't it make sense for Kateri to be the first goddess to appear at our public temple?  Our Tabling events were set up in a public place, near a cafeteria that served meat, and all sorts of common activities were going on.  She would also not have a proper Temple spot until later, she would need to be carried around from place to place.  Was it a coincidence that the first goddess to come to us was Kateri, the very form of Durga who can appear even in filth to clean it out? 

Over time we began building up our table temple more and more, and our club began to grow, still Kateri ma remained our patron goddess. Then something very mysterious happened, a young woman at the college began coming up to our table, she would remain silent and seemed almost angry. Eventually I began a conversation with her, and her immediate desire was to know who this goddess was and why were were using her.  I explained to her Kateri's background and her special powers, that she was a good goddess to use in the public ground as she was not insulted by unclean conditions. After she realized that we knew who the goddess was and her purpose, she softened a bit and explained herself.  She was a Hindu American of Guyanese descent and devotedly attended the many Kali Temples in queens. Kateri ma appeared in her favorite temple and was actually a very special goddess to her. 

This mysterious woman offered to bring me to her Temple to see Kateri there.  I was told to not eat any eggs or meat (I was vegan) or masturbate or engage in sex for three days before going to the Kali Temple on Sunday.  I was to bring fruits and flowers to offer the goddess and I was going to "fall before the mother".  I was very excited to go to a Hindu temple, I had never been to one before.  I spoke with this new friend on the phone several times before that coming Sunday, and she explained to me that the priests in the temple acted as mediums for the gods who would give you a special message, this is what she meant by "falling before the goddess", the message was supposed to stun you with its accuracy and potency. I took my fast and met this new friend the following Sunday.

On the morning of my first temple visit we had to take a rather long walk as the temple was some way away from the subways stations.  As we walked we began to enter what appeared to be old industrial areas, it was a little creepy walking through the dark shadows of old rusted bridges.  But eventually we reached the Temple.  It was a metal popup structure, painted saffron, with a large om and trident on the front. From the outside it looked very small, but when you entered it was much larger, and amazing. They had winterized the structure by spraying the walls with a polystyrene insulator, it was lumpy and bumpy and so the inside looked like a cave, but they spray painted it blue and hung garlands, so it was like a psychedelic.

At the center was a large Mariamma statue, a south Indian goddess very popular among the Guyanese Hindu diaspora.  She was flanked by male gods to her right, and female gods to her left. The devotees had laid out what must have been 100 pounds of fruit for the gods, and fresh flowers.  The incense in the air smelled so good, and there were perfume bottles at the feet of each god which were sprayed upon them, this added to the unique smell of the temple, I love the smell.  Besides fruit, there were also bottles of alcohol, and cigarettes, and cash thrown all among it.  It was an artistic organized mess, and very waking to the eyes. 

I washed my fruits and flowers and put them on an offering plate. My friend took me to each idol where we placed a fruit or flower, sprayed perfume and performed Aarti, a ritual where a lit wick is circled around the god or goddess.  My friend told me about each god, their importance and significance, and what they helped you with. We finally game to Kateri, here she was dressed in blue and sat upon a chicken.  I have since learned that many Hindus conflate Kateri with anther goddess named Bahuchara Mata, but it really didn't matter as the Temple knew her as Kateri and that was how she was worshiped.  I could not believe that I was standing before a large idol of Kateri ma, a goddess whom few would speak of let alone worship, here she was in this temple, and I was worshiping before her. It felt like fate, destiny, a cosmic thread. 

After we perfomed Aarti we sat down on the floor and the priests began their major Puja.  Drummers began playing an extremely energetic and crazy beat, while the priest began cutting coconuts and lighting camphor cubes.  The energy of the temple skyrocketed and girls and men began jumping up and dancing frenetically and screaming... people lost themselves to the drums and the fire and the rituals, it was a trance.  After this period of frantic dancing and screaming, plates of rice and curry were passed out to the devotees, Caribbean style curry, which I will admit is my favorite. 

After lunch we put our names on a list to speak to particular medium, there were four or five male and female pujaris who would be going into trances, each of them channeling a unique god.  The drumming began again, along with the fires, and the priests threw themselves in trances until they seemed lost to another power, then devotees would approach for a reading.  I had signed up to speak to mother Kateri, I was allowed to ask a question.  I won't tell you the question, or the answer, not because I don't want to, the world is dangerous these days. But all I will say is that the goddesses' answer changed my life entirely, she set everything in motion to bring me to where I am today. I attended this temple regularly for a very long time, and eventually even I began falling into the trances, and I loved them, I love them.  

I had never been to a Hindu temple before, but the first time I went it changed my life forever.  None of this would have ever happened if I did not have the devotion to go and get our group an idol and place her on public display.  Without knowing it, I found Kateri maa, the Durga who can go into every place, whose power is not diminished even before meat and alcohol, she became our group's patron goddess and she cleared the way for us.  As for me, she sent one of her devotees to me, and brought me to her temple, and since then a hundred other temples. Yes their is power in idolatry, this is why our enemies fear it, they hate it, but Kateri maa can stand before hate, she can stand before evil, she can stand before everything, she is the smallest Durga, the 6th Durga, the Durga who enters the sick and castes out the sickness, she cast out the sickness in me and brought me here, I love here always and want her to be known and loved by the world.